Woo-hoo! Days of fighting computers to get new stuff posted are over!

1 Dec 2005 -- Chilly night and I'm lying on the bed in my green flannel pajamas, having just reorganized a lot of my porn story printouts (those I haven't lent to Gus for reading on his trip). My back aches from leaning over piles of paper. I need someone to rub it. Hands pressing up and down the length of my back, sliding underneath the elastic of the pajamas -- kneading my buttocks. I arch my back to push up to his touch. With some cooperation from me, he's able to slide the pants off, down to the knees and then off one foot at a time. Some pillows shoved under my hips until I'm at a height where my knees don't have to bend much to put my crotch up against his. His fingertips slide down my damp valley and press my clit while I'm trying to get positioned for a smooth glide backwards onto his stiff cock. My pajama top has slid down to around my armpits and I can feel my tits sway with every thrust from him, even though his hands on my hips are trying to hold me still. It feels so deep when he fucks me this way.

I get so behind on actually posting these things . . . sorry.

12 October 2005 -- Well, Simon and I are in one of our periodic semi-planning together ping-ponging e-mails on when we can next meet. It does make me feel sexy and wanted when Simon does this; but our schedules just don't jibe. Still, when he asked if I still had "those clear heels" (or, as I think of them, my stripper shoes -- those massively high heels I got at Priscilla's, which I was wearing the last time we got together for sex, a year and a half ago), I started planning clothing ensembles to include them. Something that can be worn outside the home, if only between house and car, unlike the white lace nightie of last time. I guess I could wear gartered stockings under jeans -- he liked those. He clenched his hands around the garter belt while I was on top of him. V-back top with no bra? No make-out distraction of underwires poking me, that way!

2 November 2005 -- Dreams. 

1. Prince was doing a club show and there were no more tickets but I went down to the club and I looked so good in my stretch velvet leopard-print dresss and long pimp coat of a similar pattern that a member of the entourage picked me out to come in and dance up near the stage and Prince sees and flirts with me.
2. A whorehouse is doing a Thanksgiving special where you can eat items of the Thanksgiving dinner off the tied-up women. Mashed potatoes and gravy, slices of turkey, etc. I woke up and thought of doing that with Amelie, tying her down and licking food off of her.

7 November 2005 -- The dream of the night before last was drinking in my living room with Gus and Russ, starting to flirt and make out, and tying Russ to the papasan chair; he has a big ol' erection poking through his clothes, while Gus and I fuck on the floor in front of him, me on top so Russ can watch every breast jiggle and facial expression, and my hands can pull on Gus's nipple rings.

Last night's dream had seven or eight of us in a prison cell -- me, Ed, Gus, Simon, Al, Russ, Amelie's friend Todd, and sometimes Amelie herself. The guys were mostly chained so they could only sit against the wall, but I was loose in the dark cell (so was Amelie when she was in there) and I started out just clutching Ed for comfort but the sensations became a distraction from whatever reason we were all in the cell, and he and I started fucking, me riding him, and the others could hear but not see us and started to complain, and I said I'd fuck them next (and when she was there Amelie offered to as well). And so I went to Gus first, then Simon, in the darkness as he always has it these days, then offered the bi boy and the married men their chance. Todd was hot, and I think I woke up after that.

8 November 2005 -- A sex party with just about everyone I know socially -- Russ and Leah, Malka and her husband on the couch just watching, me and Gus and Amelie and her  SuicideGirl friends, and Todd and Ed and maybe Al and his sweetie and Simon, playing with the liquid latex, coating nipples, and Amelie can try and fist me, after that conversation we once had about her hand fitting better than Ed's, and I can fuck Gus in the ass with a dildo in my hand, maybe lean over and go down on him once I've got the hang of the hand motion, and some eager male mouth can take over until he finally shoots down their throat.

Since Gus said, when he was drunk that time, that he would have liked to have kept on sucking Ed's cock during our threesome and thought that Ed was close to coming, I've been thinking about that. Perhaps if his eyes are riveted on me and Amelie, busy with each other's bodies on his bed, then he won't feel any need to hold back from orgasm with Gus's lips and tongue on him. It would give me a chance to explore Amelie's body without feeling guilt for leaving Ed out, or having any interference. See if she likes her nipples rolled between two fingers like I do, trace fingernails down her back, try and drive her crazy with teasing her clit, going around it gently with a circling finger and then taste-testing her finally, a finger sliding into her cunt while my tongue is busy outside her.

The idea of phone sex with Simon. Call him up late one night, ask if he's busy, tell him I'm alone and for whatever reason we can't get together in person, but I'd love to get off while talking to him. If he doesn't know how to start, bring up the time he tried to handcuff me and say to imagine I've agreed to that or anything at all that he tells me to do. How would he like me to dress? I ask, "Skirt? Lingerie? Naked?"

27 November 2005 -- Current fantasy object is Donavan Freberg. Interesting guy and a good writer, I know from Ed's pointing me to his regular blog. But I think what made me think of him in a sexual way was reading on his (since-deleted) porn blog, in reference to a pic of a negligee-clad model in front of a bookcase, "Nerds in negligees really turn me on!" Silly me - I like guys who are likely to like me. I could straddle his legs when he's sitting in a chair at his computer, be unwrapped button by button down the front of the dress . . .

30 Mar 2005 -- This morning's waking-up fantasy was Russ, tied to a chair naked for me. I'm straddling him, tits in his face, telling him what a good sex toy he makes, pumping up and down on his cock, when Leah comes by and she kisses me, rolls my nipples between her fingers, even slides her hand down between us to rub my clit, and I don't know if it's the additional physical stimulation of my cunt walls clenching around him or the visual stimulation of us making out inches from his face, but this is when Russ loses control and pounds into me in his orgasm.

There was also a lot of thought about Amelie, a chance for a little privacy with her, maybe after her roommates go to sleep for the night, when she and I have already been cuddled up to one another throughout whatever movie or TV we were all watching in a darkened room. But now that others are sleeping and we're alone, instead of just stroking her shoulders I can give her a face-to-face embrace and a long kiss on the mouth. The upper slope of her breasts presses against the lower slope of mine as I pull her even closer -- lift her up and swing her onto the bed, for a giggle.

26 Apr 2005 -- Amelie continues creeping into my brain, both in her own self (in the shower I was slipping two fingers inside myself and moaning her name as I bent them into that perfect spot) and via Buffy. After watching The Wish this morning and seeing the alternate universe Vampire Willow and Xander torturing captive Angel, I thought of all kinds of not-suitable-for-TV sweet tortures for them. (Hey, I guess I have to identify with nerdy, good-hearted types turning into confident sexy evil vampires -- it would be the only way to implant some confidence in us.) It's also interesting for the characters -- in all the fanfiction I've read that has Xander with any guy, he's invariably bottom and/or submissive, so it would be different to make him dominant.

2/25 -- Last night trying to go to sleep, I semi-dreamed of playing lingerie dress-up in my room with Amelie, Todd, and Jeff. It was really hot showing them that black net top I made and seeing what of mine would fit Amelie and putting that little maroon satin sarong around Jeff's hips (I think I thought of seeing the pic of him on Todd's LJ all eyelinered up for the club) and Todd would probably have to do all the makeup, but then he seems to do Amelie's nails and hair streaks.

2/27 -- Went dancing last night -- another thing I've got to do more often, particularly at a gothy club like the Castle where there are more people who strike me as hot, who move unreservedly. It was more women out of the strangers there who caught my eye, especially the blonde girl from the club's pedestal dancers with her hot pants and her layered fishnets and bare midriff and grinding/dancing ability.

It was Todd and Amelie and Anne and me and we met up with Jeff and others Todd knew there, but with Jeff, once I saw him out on the dance floor, he moved from "moderately cute" to "I just wanna ride him!" Outside the club, the whiteface makeup and Insane-Clown-Posse-extended-smile did nothing for me but in the club you could barely see it. And he took off his shirt so he's dancing in fedora, black leather collar with rings, baggy black pants and high-top sneakers, and at times I had trouble not staring. I wanted to throw him down on a bed and straddle him and slide my wet cunt down onto him and pump him, squeeze his cock inside me and find the angle for his cock to hit the deepest spot, one hand behind me to fondle his balls and run down his ass-crack, the other roving his chest, rolling his nipples between my fingers.

I also spent a lot of time looking at Todd, with his cherub face and a mouth that I want to watch wrapped around a cock -- maybe Ed's, since Ed did say "lips are lips" -- and watch him lick and suck until, unlike that remark about the cheese in the restaurant after the club, the white substance dripping from his lips is cum.

And Amelie. I never have the guts to have her sit on my lap instead of Anne's or Ed's or Todd's. I want to invite her over while Ed is at work to watch porn or play with liquid latex or whatever, and she can sit on my lap on the couch while the porn rolls on the screen and I whisper in her ear that for once I wanted to have her to myself. And kiss her and explore all of her with my hands reaching under clothes at first and then perhaps retiring to more space in the bedroom where the clothes are got out of the way and I press as much of my skin to hers as possible and explore the folds of her cunt with my fingers. I'd still love to see how much of her hand would fit inside me but her nails are uncomfortably long. And if Ed were to walk in on us, I don't think anyone would object -- that's pretty much what it took for anything to happen with him and me and Gus -- but I want to explore her on my own first.

Very slack recently about typing these things up, but I'm finally transferring them from scribble to bits.

13 Oct -- Thoughts about Amelie lately -- having her in my lap, the way Ed has her or me, feeling her tits from behind her, later wondering how much of her little hand would fit inside my cunt -- Ed complains that his hands are too big to fist me.

And after a conversation last night, I imagine Russ fucking me doggy-style as both of us watch Amelie doing Leah. Russ's eyes focused only on the women in front of him and not really noticing who he's pumping into.

26 Dec -- Odd dream last night -- I started out with some sort of alien body snatchers that Russ and I were fighting, and Leah was killed, and Russ and I got together. But then that turned out to have been a dream in the dream, and I was staying in the spare bedroom of Russ and Leah's vacation house in North Carolina, masturbating as I could hear them having sex in their own room, and then she was kissing me and I was in the middle of a Russ and Leah sandwich and it was really hot.

30 Jan -- I gotta hang out with bi guys more. Just their complete unselfconsciousness kissing other guys during a bit of spin the bottle (without my feeling excluded 'cause I got kissed too). Very hot even when I wasn't drooling over the guys on their own.

But on the other hand, I really started to want to cuddle with Amelie and I didn't want to interrupt her puppy pile with Todd and Jeff. Damn shyness.