I get so behind on actually posting these things . . . sorry.

12 October 2005 -- Well, Simon and I are in one of our periodic semi-planning together ping-ponging e-mails on when we can next meet. It does make me feel sexy and wanted when Simon does this; but our schedules just don't jibe. Still, when he asked if I still had "those clear heels" (or, as I think of them, my stripper shoes -- those massively high heels I got at Priscilla's, which I was wearing the last time we got together for sex, a year and a half ago), I started planning clothing ensembles to include them. Something that can be worn outside the home, if only between house and car, unlike the white lace nightie of last time. I guess I could wear gartered stockings under jeans -- he liked those. He clenched his hands around the garter belt while I was on top of him. V-back top with no bra? No make-out distraction of underwires poking me, that way!

2 November 2005 -- Dreams. 

1. Prince was doing a club show and there were no more tickets but I went down to the club and I looked so good in my stretch velvet leopard-print dresss and long pimp coat of a similar pattern that a member of the entourage picked me out to come in and dance up near the stage and Prince sees and flirts with me.
2. A whorehouse is doing a Thanksgiving special where you can eat items of the Thanksgiving dinner off the tied-up women. Mashed potatoes and gravy, slices of turkey, etc. I woke up and thought of doing that with Amelie, tying her down and licking food off of her.

7 November 2005 -- The dream of the night before last was drinking in my living room with Gus and Russ, starting to flirt and make out, and tying Russ to the papasan chair; he has a big ol' erection poking through his clothes, while Gus and I fuck on the floor in front of him, me on top so Russ can watch every breast jiggle and facial expression, and my hands can pull on Gus's nipple rings.

Last night's dream had seven or eight of us in a prison cell -- me, Ed, Gus, Simon, Al, Russ, Amelie's friend Todd, and sometimes Amelie herself. The guys were mostly chained so they could only sit against the wall, but I was loose in the dark cell (so was Amelie when she was in there) and I started out just clutching Ed for comfort but the sensations became a distraction from whatever reason we were all in the cell, and he and I started fucking, me riding him, and the others could hear but not see us and started to complain, and I said I'd fuck them next (and when she was there Amelie offered to as well). And so I went to Gus first, then Simon, in the darkness as he always has it these days, then offered the bi boy and the married men their chance. Todd was hot, and I think I woke up after that.

8 November 2005 -- A sex party with just about everyone I know socially -- Russ and Leah, Malka and her husband on the couch just watching, me and Gus and Amelie and her  SuicideGirl friends, and Todd and Ed and maybe Al and his sweetie and Simon, playing with the liquid latex, coating nipples, and Amelie can try and fist me, after that conversation we once had about her hand fitting better than Ed's, and I can fuck Gus in the ass with a dildo in my hand, maybe lean over and go down on him once I've got the hang of the hand motion, and some eager male mouth can take over until he finally shoots down their throat.

Since Gus said, when he was drunk that time, that he would have liked to have kept on sucking Ed's cock during our threesome and thought that Ed was close to coming, I've been thinking about that. Perhaps if his eyes are riveted on me and Amelie, busy with each other's bodies on his bed, then he won't feel any need to hold back from orgasm with Gus's lips and tongue on him. It would give me a chance to explore Amelie's body without feeling guilt for leaving Ed out, or having any interference. See if she likes her nipples rolled between two fingers like I do, trace fingernails down her back, try and drive her crazy with teasing her clit, going around it gently with a circling finger and then taste-testing her finally, a finger sliding into her cunt while my tongue is busy outside her.

The idea of phone sex with Simon. Call him up late one night, ask if he's busy, tell him I'm alone and for whatever reason we can't get together in person, but I'd love to get off while talking to him. If he doesn't know how to start, bring up the time he tried to handcuff me and say to imagine I've agreed to that or anything at all that he tells me to do. How would he like me to dress? I ask, "Skirt? Lingerie? Naked?"

27 November 2005 -- Current fantasy object is Donavan Freberg. Interesting guy and a good writer, I know from Ed's pointing me to his regular blog. But I think what made me think of him in a sexual way was reading on his (since-deleted) porn blog, in reference to a pic of a negligee-clad model in front of a bookcase, "Nerds in negligees really turn me on!" Silly me - I like guys who are likely to like me. I could straddle his legs when he's sitting in a chair at his computer, be unwrapped button by button down the front of the dress . . .