2 April 2007 -- Weird dream last night. Back in my days of living on campus and with mostly the same people from my actual dorm -- but hostile persons unknown sprinkled/dusted the campus with powder or something containing a drug that made all the guys go crazy and start raping all the women around. I managed to get back to the dorm building unmolested but -- sounds creepy but in the dream wasn't -- Russ knocked out Fred to get to me (not that Fred was being boyfriend-protective; he was under the drug's influence too) and then had sex with me -- being how I had the long-running crush on him and was horny enough to have this dream, it wasn't rape.

After I woke up more, I went to the long-running fantasy of after a night out dancing or something, Gus and me having sex in a hotel room while Russ watches. Me on top, all kinds of view for Russ of every breast bounce, every hip thrust, every quiver and tremor that goes through me. And every moan as well. And those images ran into the idea that Gus is probably the only guy I know (at least of those I'm sleeping with) who would likely be willing to be video-recorded having sex. The idea of all those images that I first imagined Russ seeing, being put out for any others to get their rocks off to, turned me on. (It'll never happen in real life because of the technical issues of recording, hosting, and getting paid (since it's rather past the limits of what I'd put out there for free) would be such a pain. But it's hot to imagine anyone even being interested in paying to watch me have sex. It would be a pretty sincere compliment.